Affection: It’s the cuddling, whispering secrets afterwards that boost contentedness, study finds
Couples who regularly have sex tend to be happier, and now a new study suggests one reason why: affection.
The
study of couples in committed relationships found what many others had
shown before: Couples who had sex more often were typically happier and
more content with their lives.
However, much of that link seemed
to be explained not by sex itself, but by couples’ general levels of
affection — whether that meant cuddling or whispering sweet-nothings to
each other.
It all suggests that the “relational aspects of
sexuality — and more specifically, the sharing of affection — are
central in understanding why sex does good,” said lead researcher Anik
Debrot.
That might be good news for people who worry about things
like sexual performance or having a “perfect body,” according to
Debrot.
Instead, they could “remember that sex is a great way to
share an intimate and affectionate moment with your partner,” said
Debrot, a research fellow at the University of Lausanne’s Institute of
Psychology, in Switzerland.
She was based at the University of Toronto at the time of the study.
The
findings are based on four studies of couples in the United States and
Switzerland. In each, couples were asked how often they had sex, and how
often they shared affectionate “moments” or “touches.” Two studies
asked participants about their typical habits, while the other two
tracked them over a specific time period.
Overall, the studies
found, couples who were more sexually active tended to report greater
satisfaction with life. They also had more “positive emotions” — both in
general, and the morning after having sex.
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But in each study, affection seemed to largely account for that sex-happiness link.
So does that mean sex, by encouraging affection, helps breed happiness? Or do happy people have sex more often?
One
of the studies suggests it may be the former: Debrot’s team found that
sex predicted positive emotions the next day — whereas good feelings did
not boost couples’ likelihood of having sex over the next 24 hours.
“This
is a great study,” said Robin Milhausen. She’s an associate professor
of family relations and human sexuality at the University of Guelph, in
Ontario, Canada.
Milhausen, who wasn’t involved in the research, said it “sheds light on how sex and life satisfaction are intertwined.”
So
while past studies have linked the frequency of sex to couples’
contentment, it’s actually more complicated than that, according to
Milhausen.
“Sex can’t be divorced from context,” she said. “It’s
not a magic bullet. Affection, including post-sex affection, is
important.”
Milhausen also pointed to a particularly interesting
finding: Affection mattered to both women and men — in contrast to the
stereotype that men can do without the cuddling and sweet words.
Debrot agreed. “This counters the idea that ‘lovey-dovey’ sex would mostly be appreciated by women,” she said.
Still,
the research has limitations. For one, couples who volunteer for a
relationship study may not be representative of couples in general,
Milhausen pointed out.
And, she stressed, it’s never possible to
give couples a one-size-fits-all prescription for happiness. So neither
more-frequent sex nor extra cuddling and hand-holding are magic bullets.
People
do vary widely in how they like to express affection, Milhausen noted.
“For some people, it’s hugging. For others, it’s gifts of service, like
putting your snow tires on for you,” she said.
Debrot pointed out
that no one is saying that life satisfaction depends on affection from a
romantic partner. Many studies show that a range of factors contribute
to any one person’s well-being.
Nor does this study imply that
couples get no emotional benefit from sex itself. For example, Debrot
said, the physiological effects of sex — including the hormones it
releases — may also boost a couple’s positive feelings.
The study was published in the March issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
SOURCES:
Anik Debrot, Ph.D., research and teaching fellow, Institute of
Psychology, University of Lausanne, Switzerland; Robin Milhausen, Ph.D.,
associate professor, family relations and human sexuality, University
of Guelph, Ontario, Canada; March 2017, Personality and Social
Psychology Bulletin
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